First off. Stop calling/emailing/texting/yelling really loud to me about stopping natural disasters. Ain't shit I can do about hurricanes, Earthquakes, or temperatures being above 100 degrees. First off, if I can't punch it into bits, or fly it's ass into the vacuum of space, I'm not going to put in the effort to stop it. Secondly, stop being such pussies... seriously. Oh no it's raining and windy at the same time... You know how I spent my weekend while all ya'll were too busy hiding from rain? THIS:
That's right, I was fighting a giant... fist... thing? Ya'see I don't mind battling Brainiac in like some freaky-deeky video game world, or embarrassing Luthor day after day by pantsing him while his in a business meeting. However, I'm not like, the Red Cross or some crap. Cat in a tree? Call fucking Batman... or like, the police or something, I don't know. Hurricane got ya down? Not my problem, blame the shifting climate patterns of your shit planet... or learn how to fly and stop burning fossil fuels like a bunch of cavemen. I've honestly got a lot on my plate. I mean, when's the last time someone's spent their millions and billions of dollars on trying to kill you JUST BECAUSE YOU MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE MADE HIM BALD? Seriously, it really gets old.
So next time ya'll are about to flash the gang sign of justice (aka the Superman Signal) think about it. Is it something serious? Something that's going to make me look like a smooth, jacked up pimp? Or is it going to be front page news on Yahoo.crap? I'm here to punch world ending asteroids into world ending robots. I'm not here to teach people how not to get wet (unless it's the ladies WINK!)
