Super-Spotlight #2: Tits are the Tits

So there is this rumor floating around the galaxies that Earth chicks are easy. I think there was a radio show about it or some shit, I dunno, I don't follow Earth media. It's all mostly shit, I mean they let me be a reporter for the largest newspaper in the world with no education, proof of citizenship, or really for any reason other than I 'got the good shit on Superman'. Fucking idiots. Anyway, back to the matter at hand, Earth chicks being sluts.

 Lies!

This is a complete and utter fallacy. Earth women, like all other child bearing being across the galaxy, are fundamentally flawed. Having been from one side of this galaxy to the other, I've seen a lot of crazy pussy, but I've never seen such a widespread hate for the 'ol Super meat than on Earth. After having several drunken conversations with J'onn about this fact, we both came up with the problem behind this. It's all the fault of one Wonder Woman aka Diana Prince aka the only vagina on Earth capable of handling a Super-load.

Amoeba, Merman (who?), or Mall Security? How's about a Kryptonian?

That's right, the onyl chick on Earth I can penetrate without blowing her in half. Sorry for being graphic (not really), but I went through like five girlfriends in High School before I figured out that wasn't a normal Earth thing (Thanks Pa Kent for letting me know about that). That's the past thought, and me being pissed off by Wonder Woman is the present.

Haha Bruce, go an hug Robin why don't ya, you pedo-freak

A little history lesson here folks. When I first met Diana I was all like, fuck yes a hot chick who has super powers and junk who ISN'T my cousin (more on Power Girl later... ugh). Little did I know she was an Amazon. If you don't know what an Amazon is, let me give you a little definition.

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Amazon (n): (1) A chick who lives with only chicks. Has no idea what a penis is, and when they find out, they totally fucking hate it. Bitches who seriously never have sex on the mind despite carrying whips, lassos, and other such awesome bondage materials. Essentially, these Earth chicks are NOT easy.

 

There it is folks, even more absurd than the fucking amoeba suitor

I mean, that definition is fucking right out of Webster's, so its the real deal. Google that shit if you don't believe me. I am a journalist after all, so I'm like 100% truthful, all the time (LOL!). Basically Wonder Woman is a huge tease, who likes tying guys up with her 'lasso of truth' because she's uncomfortable with her apparent asexuality.

 Haha, Bruce is such an emo idiot. Even Red Tornado is getting hammered... and he's a fucking robot. Also, no chance in hell you'll score with Diana (because she isn't a little boy SNAP!)

Hey, don't hate, I've yet to see her hook up with anybody... that being said, Batman still has less of a chance of hooking up with her than me. She once told me that "His creepy rapist voice makes her vagina tight". Haha Bruce, your voice makes va-jay-jays sad. HAHAA!